The last six weeks of football have likely made many Michigan State fans want to scream. I have good news, Spartan fans. I can guarantee, with 100% certainty, that Michigan State will not lose a football game this weekend. Consider it the rare horror movie with no body count. That’s right, the bye week is upon us, and who really wanted to watch or attend a football game on Halloween anyway? The schedule makers did us all a favor. Instead of worrying about how members of the Spartan linebacker room, cornerback room, quarterback room, or running back room are dropping like scantily clad teens in a slasher film, carve a pumpkin, an activity where the only goal is keeping all 10 fingers. Do you like scary movies? Dial one up on Netflix. Have some cider and doughnuts. Go trick-or-treating with your kids and sneak a full-size Snickers bar from the best house in the neighborhood when no one is watching. Ask your kids which house. They will know. Better yet, don’t think about Spartan football...
College football head coaches often invoke a familiar theory in times of crisis. It surfaced repeatedly during the press conference following Michigan State’s 28-10 loss at UCLA. In coachspeak, it’s called “next man up.” I propose an alternative name: string theory. The theory goes something like this: If an injury keeps a player from suiting up, the second-, third-, or fourth-string replacement is expected to step in and perform to the same standard as the starter. Admitting that moving down the depth chart might cause a drop-off in performance apparently violates some natural law. In my experience, though, this version of string theory remains highly theoretical, with little experimental evidence to support it. Not all those strings vibrate at the same frequency. At full strength, Michigan State likely would have been competitive in the Big Ten’s middle tier. The Spartans could have won six or seven games, reached a bowl, and demonstrated clear momentum for the program. Instead, inju...