Dr. Green and White Sports Authority

We are all living in a magical time to be a college football fan in the state of Michigan. The results on the gridiron for the Michigan State Spartans have been underwhelming. But, from the point of view of pure entertainment, it has been a wild and entertaining ride. College football is the best soap opera on the radio, television, or any platform right now. This season has had so many twists and turns. We have seen sex scandals, gaslighting, cheating scandals, lies, board room squabbles, more gaslighting, information leaks, kindergarten-level tattling conspiracy theories, and the list goes on and on. We have seen the horizon go vertical more than once over the past 10 weeks. I don't know where we are anymore... or how... or why... or if. I just don't have an answer. As for Michigan State, by the time Saturday rolls around, it will have been seven days since the Spartans enjoyed their first win of the Big Ten season. Based on the opponent this week, it is very unlikely that th...

Michigan State football fans have been living with a bad taste in their mouths for weeks.  At first it was the taste of disgust over the actions of a now-fired head coach. Then, it was taste of embarrassment as Washington blew the Spartans out and the Spartans fumbled away a chance to beat Maryland. The taste then turned bitter as Michigan State let leads slip away at Iowa, Rutgers, and Minnesota. Somewhere in there, the Spartan fans threw up in their mouths a bit while watching the Wolverines run up and down the field in Spartan Stadium all night. But on Saturday afternoon, Michigan State fans finally tasted something new or at least something that they had not tasted in some time. It was like finding that extra bag of Halloween candy that is still fresh, but which has passed the statute of limitations to necessitate sharing it with the children of the house. (Shhhhh!) That taste, of course, was the sweet, sweet taste of victory. After seven straight weeks without a 'W,' the S...

This Saturday the Michigan State Spartans will host the Nebraska Cornhuskers. The University of Nebraska's mascot is literally a dude whose job is to manually process corn. The Huskers have a physical mascot that roams the sidelines. His name is Herbie Husker and he looks like this: There is not a lot to talk about when it comes to Michigan State football, but I feal that I should at least have the energy and motivation to make fun of the mascot for this week's opponent.  I should be able to deploy several paragraphs of corny jokes. The opponent alone provides some serious low hanging fruit ears. I should be able to produce some "a-maize-ing" content in this intro that really pops. But after watching the Spartans get creamed on the field for six straight weeks, I am not sure that I have it in me anymore. Much like the season as whole, I feel like a husk of my former self. You would think that I could at least produce one Field of Dreams reference (Wait. That's Io...

Imagine, if you will, a hypothetical fan of the Michigan State Spartans. Let's call him Rick. Maybe Rick works in law enforcement, but that doesn't matter for this story. Rick was hanging out at home with a few of his buddies on the afternoon of Saturday, September 9. They watched the Spartans demolish the Richmond Spiders by 31 points. Michigan State was 2-0. Things were looking good. Rick was optimistic about the 2023 season and about the direction of the program. Once the game was over, Rick decided that it was time to have another brewsky, so he walked into his kitchen towards his fridge. But on the way there, his foot slipped on a melted ice cube on the floor, he bonked his head on the corner of the kitchen island, and he slipped into a coma. Rick woke up Sunday morning. Imagine trying to explain to Rick what has transpired in East Lansing over the past seven weeks. "Mel Tucker did what? The Spartans haven't beaten anyone? Noah Kim threw how many interceptions? St...